F is for Friends and Flashcards ~ August 9th, 2013

Nora now can say the names of her favorite playmates. If she doesn't like them she won't use their name. I totally understand.

Evie is Ebie, Rowan is Ro-Ro, Rosalia is Lia, Leo is Eo, and Stella is Ella. She can't quite say Pearl so she calls her "babe' aaah" and gives her kisses and hugs. Gives me hope for a potential sibling.

She's starting to stand up for herself and showing preferences. For instance, when she gets neck hugs from Evie she says "no". When she gets kisses from Evie she says "thank you", if they continue she says "aaah", and if they still continue she says "all done".

This morning we were getting out of the car at the mall and she said, "Hi friend!" To a Lenny Kravitz looking dude and his lady. He cracked up and said hey back and gave her the peace sign. She gave him a smile and an "ah hey" head nod. That cracked up the lady finally.

Then she named items at the grocery store punctuated by greeting people and giving feedback if they didn't respond, "Apple, orange, - Hi! -, banana, stinks, - Hi!....Hi! Hi?...not nice."

Lunch was pronounced as delicious (very flattering to my pasta dish), followed by Sesame Street and snuggles. She wraps herself around my arm and strokes my skin. I feel like an oversized human version of Dr. No's cat.

I look forward to our nap for the day every day but especially at this moment. Pregnancy + sinus infection + sleepy toddler = I'm ready to pass out.

Got your stamp? ~ July 4th

July 4, 2013
 

Since she was a newborn, one of my favorite things to do with Nora was dress her up and walk to the Mommy Matinee at Kennedy School. The staff at the theater have seen her grow over these past two years and she's learned how to behave at a theater and restaurant thanks to their help. We sometimes wondered how much of what we rehearsed with her and she observed was comprehended.

 

This past long weekend we took her to see The Croods and she behaved very well for a two year old. She got her hand stamped for the movie, asked for pizza, carried her popcorn in, and stayed in her seat reasonably well. Two days later, Grandma brought over a mini theater booth for her to play with. We watched as Nora lined up her Little People in a line at the ticket booth and had a ticket taker asking, "You want stamp? You got your stamp?"

 

Then last night she had the line of people ordering pizza. "Pizza please?" and some of their requests for "cheese" or "pepper-" (pepperoni) were met with, "Here you go!" or flat out, "No!" I'm guessing that's her interpretation of customer service. Probably won't share that with the theater gang.

 

 

 

 



July 4, 2012

 

Big girl room redo! ~ June 19th, 2013

Our child is irritated with me. I'm still in my pj's; however, she is in love with her room being rearranged. She had some feedback about how I arranged her socks and we compromised. She agreed to stop throwing them and I agreed to not strangle her.
The rest of it was passable to her taste. The big excitement was finding her DOG book in the room. The book she's owned for 3 months now and has seen countless times...yeah, that one.

The photo ready version / cleanest it will be for a long while...

 

 

 

 

Our little Rainman ~ June 18th, 2013

Nora devoted half an hour yesterday to cleaning up the toy aisle at the store. Freddy's, you're welcome.

Nothing is open at 7am

The only places open that can even mildly entertain a 2 year old at 7am (or worse 5am) are grocery stores and coffee shops. Grocery stores are the safest bet since they're accustomed to screaming children. Morning commuters and cubicle drones do not look fondly on someone else's child disrupting their intake of caffeine.

So like a lot of mornings, I found myself trying to get you to wait for me to wake up and clean myself for the day because you were fully dressed and waiting with shoes and hat by the door. You tried to help me get ready by randomly bringing me my own possessions. Apparently all I really need to be able to leave the house is a bra, a sweater, and my shoes...it would make for an interesting look.

Off we went to the grocery store, me and my extra active 2 year old with the hopes of procuring a few items we needed and doing so before you melted down in an emotional shit-storm of screaming and crying known as a "temper tantrum". Or, as I like to refer to it as, "mommy's own slice of anxiety inducing hell" or as the rest of the population sometimes calls it "a reason to drink".

As we entered the store you started dancing to the U2 song playing overhead and began gesturing with your hat and a produce bag. I asked you, "Are we a little crazy?" You looked at me sideways and smiled, "Maybe."

No sleep make parents something, something...

If you were completely proficient in reading and writing I would be tempted to draft the following letter to you:

Dearest Daughter,
Please sleep through the night. Whatever monster or horror you think awaits you in the dark, it's not real! You are two now and your form of disruptive sleep is torturing your mother and father. Please stop or your college fund will be used for travel that will not include you; because, and I will repeat if necessary, you will not be living in the basement beyond college.

Love,
Mom

P.S.
You are not to make any noise (unless it truly is an emergency) between the hours of 8pm and 7am. This is true for the rest of your childhood. Thank you

Potty Training and other pointless attempts at parenting

Our daughter peed in my shoes today. Luckily she peed on a pair of her shoes as well but it didn't soften the blow. She had ragged one of her potty chairs (yes, she has more than one) over to a corner to hide and attempt to pee on the potty and overshot her ass over the edge and peed onto my shoes two feet away. Soaking a braided wool rug, my new walking shoes, and her aqua socks included. At least hers were water proof.

We've tried prizes, singing, books, cute underwear, alarm reminders, games, naked time, training pants, pull-ups and allowing her to have a potty out in the living room. Nothing has worked. I've officially given up for today. She's in a diaper, she's watching Super Why, and I'm silently hoping that the day miraculously passes by so I can return to bed.

If this morning was a sign of the day I can only hope for it to pass quickly. We had a feeling that there was something amiss when we woke up to silence at 6am (late for her). I was walking up behind Jamie as he turned on the lamp in her room and heard him say, "Wow, sure does smell like poop in - aaaah!"

You had decided to clean up the problem yourself using your pillows, blankets, and sheets. There was poop caked on to your crack still but you had most of it off of you, well done.

Sugar, spice and everything hard to clean up... May 28, 2013

She's quite demanding today. Ordered me to sit at the table with her while she ate. Then smeared blueberry over her lap and said, "Uh-oh, change!" Meaning she was done and wanted a new outfit.

Then she did something quite adorable and kind. I was digging in the laundry basket for her slippers after helping her change her outfit for the third time that morning and some of her clothes came tumbling out in the process so she picked them up and put them back. It became a game until she realized I was intentionally putting her clothes on the floor for her to pick up...she stopped and smiled at me with her hands on her hips.

Everything in moderation... including Attachment Parenting

This article really spoke to me and I have to say that I wish I could travel back in time to when I was pregnant, yank all those pregnancy and parenting books away from myself, and sit me down to read this article.

http://www.mommyish.com/2011/08/22/breaking-up-with-dr-sears-how-attachment-parenting-nearly-killed-me/

After 8 months of wearing Nora as a newborn nonstop except for breastfeeding around the clock (no shit) and expensive therapy, medication, and soul searching my body is permanently damaged from the experience but I'm stronger in a way that I would not want to repeat but appreciate.

I can sincerely say,"Dr. Sears, &^%$ you."

March thru May, the Big 2 and beyond...

You are adorable. You were making a palette in your room this morning with Holly doll and a pillow. You kept wrapping up the doll with a throw blanket, hugging her to yourself, and then crashing back on the pillow with a proud satisfied grin on your face.

There's so many moments lately and they go so quickly by like the blur through a window from a speeding car on a road trip. You try and commit a beautiful scene to your memory, wishing in vain that it will be permanently imprinted, and never really knowing if it will be there until later. And if it doesn't commit to your memory, how would you know? I fear losing these moments in the tidal grip of daily chores, routines, responsibilities, and pleasing others. You will always be the most important person to us but it takes effort to not allow the demands of life make us forget that. Thank you for reminding us dear heart.

I'll be sure to add photos and videos this weekend if I have a moment.

The abbreviated version of the past couple months:

- You are speaking in full sentences...when you want to.
- You hop, jump, and dance up a storm with booty wiggles and spins.
- Shaun the Sheep is still your favorite show...ugh.
- Crowds are anything more than 6 people.
- You are still terrible about holding our hands and running off, but you're improving.
- Water fascinates you. You love bath time now and stare endlessly at bodies of water.
- You are incredibly gentle and kind towards animals. Simone and you have become fast friends. You give her kisses, bring her toys (much to her confusion), and brush her.
- Rowan and Leo are your boyfriends. You gave Rowan an unsolicited kiss while he was on the toilet. He tries to kiss, hug, and push you down. All very normal.
- Your birthday was a hit! We made you a tower of cupcakes and you received wonderful gifts. Your favorite being the wallets from Rosalia and the necklaces your dad and I gave you.
- When you're overwhelmed, angry, bored, or unhappy with a situation you go in to downward dog pose from yoga. It's effective.

It's Nora to you, Miss Kelso if you're nasty...

Our daughter is particular and the expanse of the concept is not entirely known even by us because we're shocked continually at the extent. Her pinky is alight when she reaches for her drinking glass. Water that dribbles from the condensation of her glass onto her shirt is grounds for a whimpering meltdown of abject horror and embarrassment and the exclamation of, "Oh no, mama! Oh no!" Highchairs and booster seats offered to us in restaurants offend her and any attempts to use them are an invitation to our daughter throwing herself on the ground in defiance of our totalitarian treatment of her. Pearls are preferred at breakfast along with the proper cutlery and dishware. And she will remind you, nay inform you, that she will be wearing (oh yes, as Jeebus as her witness) what she has chosen for that day. Any objection? That's fine, what she heard was a request for naked baby...

Meltdowns are ended by distracting her with tickles, chasing her, pretending to be a monster under the blanket, letting her peruse her closet and try on clothes, offering to read her a book, or (never has failed even during the midst of giving her medicine) offering to let her watch Bob's Burgers.

Her current prized possessions of fascination and love are the following in ranking and severity of outburst if removed/withheld from her for any reason:
- her purple bear hat (she will put it on herself - thank you very much!)
- her backpack (with babydolls smooshed inside)
- shoes (whichever pair she is in love with at the moment)
- gloves
- babydolls (yes, plural...one can never have enough babies)
- babydoll stroller

Our favorite moments of the past month:
- hugging both of our legs in unison when Jamie and I were hugging
- shutting the baby gate after herself with attitude when exiting the room
- offering trades to get the remote
- singing...love her singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with gestures and dancing
- upstaging Kendra the librarian at storytime at the Vancouver Library (Nora turned to the crowd of children and began telling her own story since Kendra's was apparently boring)
- wiping snot on the cats when she was sick
- hugging the cats and trying to read them books and give them toys
- lecturing the cats and chasing them out of the room (one of my personal favorites)
- her awesome dance moves that include the Charleston, the Slide, and the spin-until-you-fall-down

 

 

 

Careful, don't sleep, you have a toddler...

I'll freely admit, I would openly laugh when I would hear stories of people's children decorating with their own feces and wonder privately, "How did they get THAT one past you?..." Oh, how karma is cruel...

Our daughter is quite fond of waking us up sometime roughly between 1am and 4am. She keeps us up just long enough that our sleep is disturbed, we have to fight to get her back to sleep, one of us is displaced from the bed either because we have to stay in hers or she climbs in, and all of us wake up cranky because we haven't had a solid five hours of sleep in almost 3 years (she's almost two and pregnancy enhanced my insomnia). She's normally fully dressed with 30 minutes of us acquiescing to her demands which means that the entire household is up by 5am.

We are not morning people. Having a child does not bestow upon you the superhuman zen-like patience of Dali Lama. We are still not morning people.

So after a heinous 5 day stretch of us not sleeping comfortably or for more than 4 hours at a time or  sharing a bed as a couple or making use of a bed... we were exhausted. Fighting over whose turn  it was to be tortured ensued and we ended up taking turns sleeping in her room or on the couch just so we could get some rest. It was early on a Sunday when I hit my breaking point. I grabbed a pillow, a blanket, and the couch in hopes of sleeping. Our lovely daughter was hemmed in by baby gates and doors so that she only had access to her room and the living room where I was sleeping. This assuaged my anxiety enough that I felt safe to sleep on the couch while she watched cartoons.
The first sign of something being dreadfully wrong was the smell that entered my nose upon waking only to be followed by the second sign, my daughter sitting next to my head on the couch - naked. The sight of her minus pj's and diaper put me in red alert. I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter. A smug of poo on the blanket?!....Oh no...A smug of poo on the brand new couch too?!...Oh fuck...The smell of poo from my HAND?! What the FUCK?!

I grabbed her up and made a mad dash to the bathroom to clean her up. On went the taps and in went the giggling kid into the bath. I was gambling that if she had the right combination of toys and bubbles I could hear her splashing and playing so that I knew she was safe. Anything to keep her contained and feces safely out of her grasp. She could shit-spa herself in the tub for all I cared just as long as our house was safe from her sticky toddler clutches.

First I checked my slippers - safe. Then I stripped, poop on my head and shirt, great. Easily cleaned and solved. On went the bathrobe as I armed myself with a bucket, rags, cleaner, and courage. The living room awaited me. The couch wasn't as bad as I imagined and was quickly clean. The blanket and pillow went straight into the wash but I could still smell poo...

Our new rug. The rug that I felt was the steal of the century. Silkily spun wool, low pile, beautiful pattern, found at a fraction of the price, difficult to replace on our budget...Oh god. The pattern and colors were the perfect camouflage for her butt soufflé. I spent the next hour on my hands and knees scrubbing out my daughter's shit from the rug. She made a figure eight on the rug to wipe the poo out of her crack and from her diaper that she had conveniently placed on her bed. A trail of poo lead me back to the source which was sitting next to her prized doll and bear. She was proud of her work.

All the while she had been happily, and loudly, playing in the bath reciting, "No-no, No-haaa - no!" Followed by laughter and an interjection of "mama, said" in her jabbering. The house now smelled of lavender, floor cleaner, wood polish, and baby wipes...it sill reeked when I went into the bathroom. I knelt down to check on Nora and asked her how she was doing. She looked up with bubbles on her face and smiled to show poop in her mouth.

January 9th - Almost 22months

To say that our daughter is an old soul is an understatement at best and an insulting minimization of her prowess at the worst. She has better table manners than most adults I know, has a better sense of fashion than my most envied of friends or heroines, the most dramatic of sensitivities, and an unwaveringly delicate touch when affectionate. My heart broke for her the first time she pulled my face down to her so she could kiss me when she was 7 months old. It breaks every time since for her and reminds me how much love can endure and heal.

She likes to march in place, she farts when she laughs, likes to strip naked and run around the house while rubbing her nipples, loves her big girl (twin sized) bed, feeds her baby dolls and gives them kisses, loves our cats and is very gentle with them, and is adept at taking things apart.

Unfortunately, she bites the couch when she's frustrated and smacks herself on the stomach and face when she's angry. Pulls and shakes the bars on the baby gates when she's not allowed in a certain room or not getting your attention right away. And says "no" to anything and everything when she's tired, hungry, or her feelings are hurt (reminds me of a certain someone that also exhausts me...).

She loves to draw and paint, loves to quietly sit in bed and read, delights in nature walks down to see our neighbor's chickens, thinks all animals with four legs are "dogs", twirls and dances (does the cha-cha, the stride, and disco moves including the hip bump) while watching her favorite movie as of late, Pitch Perfect.

We do "spa time" to get her to sit still for getting her nails trimmed and cleaned. I give her a little dab of lotion and she rubs her hands together and sniffs them just before exclaiming in appreciation "Aaaah!" She sits on my lap in front of our bedroom mirror and brushes her hair or mine. Next come the hairbands that she likes to stack up around her eyes so that she looks like a Star Trek character.

 

 She loves being chased, she no longer runs off when we're out walking together unless she's very excited, and she wants to do the stairs on her own now along with everything else. Our patience is tried every day and we fall into bed sleep deprived and are woken halfway through the night for our daughter's slumber party jabbering between our two heads and wonder if we're ever going to have a full night's sleep again next to each other or possibly ever travel again or be able to watch an R-rated movie or sleep in till noon...When all is said and done, we love her more every day and can't imagine how we were blessed with such a person.

November: Please and - NO!

I remember watching my nieces learn to say "please" and "thank you"; unfortunately, Barney was popular at the time and it meant a lot of requests for watching the show as well. As much as I dislike Barney, I have to admit, the show really drilled into your brain the concept of "please" and "thank you" being the magic words...that and how awful kids' shows truly are. Even when I was a kid I hated children's programming (but that's another story).

Nora's playmates have been learning or exposed to some amount of baby sign language. It's par for the course with Portlander parents much like baby carriers, amber teething necklaces, and discussions about organic baby food (to purchase or to make; not whether or not you choose organic food for your kid because if you were to admit that...well, good luck). I had never any fantasy of being successful at teaching such a thing to Nora. I'm dyslexic and learning foreign languages has always been an embarrassing failing of mine so I didn't have any hope of teaching one to my infant daughter. Imagine my surprise when all those months of my clumsy attempts and her witnessing others would pay off with her picking up signs on her own. She signs "please", "hungry", "all done", "more" and "star".

My heart swelled with pride when she first signed "please" and sweetly said it simultaneously to request her sippy cup. Tonight I almost cried when I asked her if she wanted the purple star jammies her Na-Na gave her and she signed "star" with a big smile in response. All these moments are stored in my heart right alongside the moments that she drives us insane.

There are words that she absolutely refuses to sign (or say for that matter) "thank you" or "sorry". A request for her to say "thank you" will elicit a kiss at best and a raspberry noise in your face possibly or at worst a snotty smile and flounce of her head. A request for "sorry" might get you a hug or a pat but sometimes it results in her screaming "NOOOO!"...this I can understand since it's my fault. I was hoping she might learn to say "no" in an assertive manner to other kids that were trying to pull away a toy out of her hands or push her around. She somehow confused this concept with the kid being forced to apologize to her after their bad behavior, so now when a kid is brought over to apologize for their transgression by their parent my lovely daughter will scream "NOOO!" in the kid's face. It's quite effective.

One little boy approaches Nora and gives her a hug every time he sees her now and she simply turns her face away and says "no". My work here is done.