Thursday, October 31, 2013

The grumpiest bunny fairy butterfly, ever ~ October 31st, 2013

Most kids look forward to Halloween. Maybe it's because they understand they'll get candy, maybe that they get to make some trouble, or they look forward to scaring people. Nora doesn't eat candy yet and doesn't quite understand why people are in costume so to her it's just another day.

Nora decided that she didn't want to wear any of the suggested costumes and even refused to wear clothes for a big chunk of the day. Then refused to eat lunch or nap. It was a banner day.

But we soldiered on and managed to get her to agree to wear clothes and she even consented to being creative with her choices hence the bunny coat, fairy dress, and butterfly wings. What really got her out the door was the promise of going to Kennedy School and eating pizza. Daddy was looking forward to having a beer. Mom was thankful that dad was finally home.




Unicorn executive...long story.


 

I was a penguin.





 
 
She's obsessed with cameras. Even pretends without one.





       
Mom, stop taking pictures. Chip-chop-chippy.

 

We had to use the promise of pizza to get her out of the house. It apparently wasn't quite up to snuff.
Then we ran into some friends, did some trick-or-treating, and ran around on the front lawn. It was all better until we needed to walk home and then she melted down. "Up, up, dada!" She collapsed against Jamie and went to bed at 5:30pm. She didn't miss much, no trick-or-treaters at our door this year. I was bummed. Maybe next year!






"Do my bidding!" Master said to Blaster.


Your fears and suspicions are correct, toddlers DO want to eat your brains.

She likes to steer Jamie's head like she's riding a horse.
Her love hurts sometimes.
 
 

    










 
 

 





 

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Leopardus Interruptus ~ October 29, 2013

We went to the zoo today. I would like to say it was better than last time but I would be lying.



It started out great, freezing cold and beautiful out, there were only a few people so little to no competition for Nora to get a good view of the animals. There were a surprising amount of them out but then I noticed that keepers were out feeding them. That's how early we were.

We even got a chance to use the photo booth for once. The pics aren't that great but it was fun for Nora to study the camera and she tried to dismantle the button display. It was good times until some creepy dude outside the booth said, "I bet it's warm in there." I told him to go away and Nora yelled, "Stop it!" at him.

Then we decided to try and take the most direct route to the elephants as possible due to: 1.) me not dressing her warmly enough, 2.) her deciding that she wanted me to carry her and 3.) I was feeling excessively preg-lazy. We took a short cut past the large cats in hopes of seeing the leopards this time (or "lee-purs" according to Nora).

 
What we discovered was that cats are particularly amorous after feedings and don't like people to be around to witness their encounters. 
https://www.dropbox.com/s/0nvcdnrf161b07k/2013-10-29%2009.39.32.mp4


I didn't realize that the viewing tunnel (especially made for kids) would give my pint-size explorer a full view of the leopards doing it in what I'm sure they assumed was a private spot. Nora ducked inside the tunnel and shouted, "Uh-oh, kitties fighting! Mama, they cuddling!" By the time I could squeeze myself in there I caught a view of them doing it before the female angrily threw herself at the window. Her front paws squeaked down the glass in front of a delighted Nora who giggled and jumped. The male trotted off to a large stone and threw himself backward exposing his belly in defeat.

Our child hasn't managed to accomplish coitus interruptus on her parents but apparently she's quite adept at leopardus interruptus. Poor cats. Nora stared at them for less than a minute and then announced, "All done." How right you are, kid.

We saw the lions, orangutans, monkeys, and some insects. All were inspected for less than a minute before she would declare, "All done." Then she would remind me that we needed to see the elephants. She always runs up the path in excitement to see them.

 


 There were three other girls about her age along with their mothers who had stopped to look at the elephants as well. Nora took an interest in them and started to follow them back down the path. I joked to one of the moms, "Toddler see, toddler do." She smiled and nodded.

Nora came back for me and pulled on my hand. The other girls were asking to go in the elephant enclosure to get a closer look. Nora looked up at me and asked, "Please?" I said ok and we followed after them. Once inside everyone made the obligatory dumb human attempt of mimicking an elephant's trumpet, I felt bad for the elephants. Nora leaned against the glass next to the eldest girl and tried to talk to her. The girl skipped away and went to stand with the other two girls. Nora looked a little downcast and came running towards me.

 I understand that not everyone is going to like my kid.

I get that not every other person in the world finds her to be as adorable as we do and that some of her behavior might even be annoying to them.

But don't be mean to my kid. She's sweet, polite, and sensitive. I'm not.
 

Much like the elephant cow with her calf on the other side of the glass; I would rather poop on you and possibly stomp you to death than let you hurt my baby. You can stare at my big wrinkly ass all day long before I'll let you hurt her.

So when Nora decided to make a third attempt, much to my chagrin, I hung close by. She ran up to the group of girls and said, "Do you want to play?" The girl who had just snubbed her turned to her and briefly looked at her before saying, "No, go away." The other mothers simply stood there and said nothing, just stared at me, as their vile offspring giggled and turned their backs on Nora.

I didn't need to see her face to know that she was going to cry. I didn't need her to tell me how it felt because I'd been there before. She turned to look for me as I picked her up and held her close. I spoke softly to her as her chilly cheek rested against mine, "It's not you, honey. They're just mean."

She pulled away from me and looked back over my shoulder at the girls as I carried her away.
She firmly informed them, "You suck." I spun her away and looked at the other moms who I was convinced were going to let me have it. They stood with their mouths agape in OMG-mall-esque horror that someone would give their Gymboree-gits what for. I bit my lower lip, thought for a second, and merely shrugged and nodded at them.

Nora melted down in tears once we were out of the enclosure and it took a good half an hour of coaxing to get her to leave the zoo and head to the car. I was proud of her for trying to make friends, taking the chance, and learning to deal with the rejection. Who knew being 2 was so complicated?





Saturday, October 26, 2013

Whoa, whoa, WHOA! ~ October 26, 2013

Nora is starting to read, can count to 20, sings her ABCs, dresses herself, brushes her teeth, sings and dances, makes up songs, pretends to talk on her phone while riding her bike, mimics the movements of others, eats with better manners than us, cleans up after herself including taking her dishes to the counter and pushing in her chair, and announces when looking in the mirror "adorable!".
 
Her new catch phrases, thanks to her parents and Grandma, are:
"Oopsie"
"I insist"
"Aaah-"(in a sympathetic tone while hitching her face to the side and scrunching her mouth up and patting you)
"What did I say?"
"Seriously"
And, our favorite, with emphasis, "Whoa, whoa, WHOA!"
 
 
 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

HFMD: holy %&*$ing mess of a day ~ October 17, 2013

Yesterday I slept in till 7:30. This is highly unusual even with being pregnant since we have a two year old that wakes us at 5am pronouncing, "Mom?! Dad?! Mom?! Dad?! Breakfast? OK. Breakfast? OK, yeah...OK, yeah, let's go..." The refrain repeats without a snooze button until you're vertical.
But I slept through it all...my head hurt, my left foot too, my throat, my hands...what the? - oh - no! I sat up with a lurch to examine my hands in the dim light. Yep, blisters. My foot, same. I sighed and stood to look in the mirror. Not thrilled for many reasons but the most pressing issue, HFMD. Maybe I was wrong though.
The first of many blisters...
 
One hour later I was at Zoomcare and it was confirmed by a nervous pregnant Physician's Assistant who accidentally touched my hands. (I told her right away to use hand sanitizer when I saw a glimpse of panic in her eyes and that it wouldn't offend me, she did.) She explained that my immune system was compromised by the pregnancy and being so sick for the past six months. My body was waving a flag of surrender but it didn't understand that I had a two year old to keep up with.
 
So today is a day of indulgences to keep Nora happy.
A day full of contraband for a 31 month old. Movies and cartoons (Pitch Perfect, Grease, Bob's Burgers, and Sesame Street), oatmeal molasses cookies, and more outfit changes than a Beyonce awards performance. Now, like a lot of days lately, I wait for a nap...and these blisters to go away. I only hope that we'll be able to get out and enjoy the fall before it's over. I have to get better in time for Halloween so I don't ruin it for her. Here's hoping for a fast recovery and the sanity to survive being cooped up even longer.
 

 
 
 
 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Stuck inside, all of us sick together ~ October 15th, 2013

Pretty sure we're recovering from the flu. I'm glad, for once, that I got a flu shot though since I haven't been as sick as Jamie or Nora but I'm exhausted as it is as I enter the third trimester. Then again, I'm the mom so I'm suppose to magically cure everything. It's a daunting, albeit heart swelling, feeling of love and responsibility. How can I recover and keep our child from going stir crazy? So we've been trying to entertain Nora in an effort to appease her in our self-enforced quarantine.
 
So we busted out the butterfly wings I was saving for an emergency backup Halloween costume since our fashionista can be a bit fickle. They now are cause for flights around the house and terrorizing the cats that we view as a win-win, exercise for her and punishment for them.
Then a magical thing happened this morning, our wonderful friend, Nicole. She offered to come get Nora and have her hang out with Evie, her daughter and Nora's best friend. I wanted to cry but I was too busy stuffing belongings in a butterfly backpack and Nora had her outfit selected and on in less than 10 minutes.
 



We gave her my 10+ year old laptop to play on and she is obsessed with trying to type her name and understanding the mystery of the screensaver. She shouts with awe and wonder when it appears, "Mom, Dad, look!"  Then proceeds to wildly tap on several keys at once like a deranged piano player or your worst nightmare of a cubicle neighbor. She becomes frustrated, blows her bangs out of the way, and shrugs in temporary defeat. The screensaver is gone. This marks the moment for a dance break.


When all else fails, call in your complaints to friends on your imaginary phone.


 
She's also captivated with an old pillowcase that she found in the charity box that she's fashioned into a cape, a swaddling blanket for her "brudda' doll", a snuggie for herself, and a self-imposed straight jacket (I think that one is a mistake) that have kept her busy at moments. The cats were unwilling to let her dress them though.
 
Nicole, we love you.
 
Time for more Tylenol, some Christmas movies (starting with Die Hard), and a big box of Kleenex...or sleep. Hmmm, sleep.