Nap solution ~ February 24th, 2014

1:00pm - Reading books to Nora while nursing Owen. Neither soothed to sleep. One giggling and running, the other crying.

1:30pm - Choice given of nap time vs quiet time. Quiet time chosen. Baby gate up. Sixteen outfit changes later, two pullup changes...still awake.

2ish - Struggling to stay awake, eye twitching, baby asleep next to me pooping, watching Nora on the video monitor struggle to get her shirt on but her head is stuck in the sleeve and she runs into the drawer she left open, run to assist and crisis averted, baby crying.

2:30ish - Gate down, Nora playing with play-doh, baby nursing, me watching Downton Abbey while drinking coffee.

3:44 - The cure to Nora not napping, Downton Abbey. I've never seen our child fall asleep like this. Thank you, PBS and BBC, well done.

Knock on wood ~ February 23, 2014

Our house is full of yelling and bad smells. It's like the aftermath of a chaotic house party minus the glamour.

Good news, no sign of colic. Owen just screams about everything. He has three modes: screaming, sleeping, eating. The rare moments of him quietly observing have mostly been captured on camera or honored in our silent appreciation. He behaves like an angel when held by others. He manages to yell at me while he's nursing and he's blistered both nipples. I've taken to filing his nails while he sleeps for my own safety.

Owen is two weeks and counting... ~ February 21st, 2014

It hasn't been the smoothest transition coming home. Owen and I both have had more doctor appointments than I would like (which would be none) and my recovery hasn't been what we anticipated in the slightest but things are slowly getting better and I'm cherishing the moments Owen isn't screaming...so is the rest of the household. 

He was diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie, high palate, and recessed chin. All complicate breastfeeding and explain his fussiness and screaming and my constant pain and mastitis. Yesterday we had a frenotomy performed and things are improving. Traumatizing for both of us but no more so than his endless frustration with being hungry and exhausted. His poor jaw would tremble in his sleep and I was left mangled by the end of the day. You could hear how tired he was in his whimper of a cry after shouting at us all day.

He's above birth weight, his sister loves him, and we're all healing. That's the most we can hope for and we're thankful.

World's best sister ~ February 14, 2014

One of my greatest hopes was that Nora would love her brother and take to him. What a relief to see and know that she's excited to have him in the house and wants to be a big helper. Here are some of the moments from the past two weeks that stand out:

Mimicking my breast pumping with a sippy cup up against her belly button.
Breastfeeding her Elmo.
Told her grandmother that she was itchy on her breasts after hearing me complain about my nipples.
"I love the baby" being a new recurrent phrase.
Kissing and tickling him on the head and toes.
Helping pick out his outfits.
Burying her head and saying, "I'm sorry!", when he cries and she can't fix it.
"On no!" Running in to help now when he cries and helping with diaper changes and spills.
Saying good morning and good night to him.
Cuddling with me when he nurses.
Climbing in behind me in bed while I was nursing him to rub my back and asking for a "mama nap".
Missing her and telling her so, that I'm not feeling well, and her saying, "I'm sorry, mama."

Having her sneak in to bed to sleep next to Owen.

Giving Owen his first sponge bath at home.

I'm a little scared of our baby ~ February 9th, 2014

He puts his own pacifier back in...he's a week old.

We're not huge fans of pacifiers but they have their place and time when they're necessary. Like when your 3 year old is fighting going to sleep and your 1 week old is screeching like a seventies era Godzilla film. Meanwhile the 3 year old is pulling poop out of her diaper and carrying it to the toilet. The end result is correct if not executed properly, well intentioned yet disgusting.

As I waved goodnight to Nora tonight I looked down in time to see Owen waving as well. 

If you don't hear from us for awhile don't assume it's because we're busy. Send out a search party...it's them.

Nursing my Benjamin Button ~ February 6, 2014

A shallow latch on an engorged breast looks, and feels, a lot like I imagine nipple clamps on a dairy cow do. Frustrating, pointless, and disturbing. Add to that the squished up little angry old man face screaming at me and you have the perfect reason as to why they send you home with percocet after giving birth. If your body doesn't need it you sure as shit need it for your mental health. But I stopped taking it a couple days ago so now my only hope is to recover from preeclampsia so I can drink.

But now he's asleep at my breast. Milk drunk, angelic, serene. This is how we are now the parents of two. The sex made us stupid, the first made us crazy enough to try again, and the second is here to help finish us off so our transformation into dithering sentimental potty obsessed parents is complete with finger painting on top. Some day, if lucky, Jamie and I will be old and grinning madly at people like manic marionettes with matching outfits. Not because we're unaware of our dorkiness but because we're terrified of being separated due to our permanent brain damage from sleep deprivation and play-doh fumes.

My Benjamin Button is cooing in his sleep, nestling against me, and farting an essence that can only be described as outdoor summer concert porta-potty. He even has huge wrinkly balls like an elephant souvenir from the zoo. Every time I open his diaper I wonder how my breast milk turns into something that looks reminiscent of bird droppings. I love my stinky Oh-wee who screeches like an owl and makes faces like a deranged mime, he's simply beautiful to me...and very loud.