Big cheeks, big feet,... ~ December 27th, 2013

Baby boy is estimated to be between 5.5 and 6 lbs. at this point. All measurements are normal except for length, he's long! His feet are 3 inches in length at this point and his hands are long but we couldn't get an exact measurement since he was busy pinching me...grrr. Nothing like having my theories confirmed. He's head down, doing pushups on my intestines, and pinching the sides of my uterus with his hands and feet. Jamie and the ultrasound tech cracked up as he twisted and turned and made the ultrasound wand jump off my belly to get away from the scan.

 

They said I could last until January 25th but we don't think it's likely considering his growth...just have to wait at this point and see. He's doing great, which is a huge relief with my gestational diabetes,  and the pressure is off as far as him possibly being so big that they would want us to induce. We want him to take as much time as he likes to cook but we all are anxious to meet him. I'm pretty sure my bladder will cry with relief to have my parasite out. At least we know he's happy and active in there! Nora's favorite position in utero was the cannonball up under my ribs. His? The inverted frog, kicks included.

 

 

Someone has got chubby cheeks! It appears that he's going to look a lot like Nora based on this.

 



 

She managed to get a picture of him sticking his tongue out.

 

 

 

 Big hands!

 

 

Big feet!

 

 

Kiss'mas Eve ~ December 2013

So excited for tomorrow!
http://share.eye.fi/s/50GnDvqYDKAqOHdD1O5r6SqKJY

Baby 'brudda update ~ December 23rd, 2013

We're down to weekly appointments for little guy and his entrance into the world is imminent and being felt by everyone. I look and feel like a character in a sci-fi movie. You can see my belly undulate from across the room and he decides to flip end-to-end at least once a day. I have so much testosterone raging through me I'm cranky, furry, and craving only carbs and meat. The entire household is whacked out by my hormones.

Every time I sit down I get buried in Nora and cats. They sense that their competition is near and want to remind me that they need love. I'm a slow moving target and I just hope for being able to breathe and that they don't steal my food.

At least I've figured out a use for our fat cats. They're willing to put up with anything as long as I let them sit on my rapidly disappearing lap. Peter even puts up with little guy kicking him in the ass and me balancing my tablet on him. Seriously, he doesn't budge. Only problem is my bladder gets a wallop in the process. Sorry, Petie, gotta get up...again. I'm so tired of peeing.

Jamie gets to enjoy the lap treatment as well from Simone but that isn't necessarily a new development as much as an expansion on her repertoire...and ass.

Nora wraps herself around me and squeezes tightly while giggling, hugs my bump, talks to 'brudda through my belly button, and leans on me to feel him kick. We had to teach her to not climb me or pull on me to be lifted so she now asks me to come sit or take my hand so she can lead me to her desired play spot. That includes leading me to a chair or couch so she can climb up and wrap herself around me. I love her snuggles and we talk about what a good sister she's going to be and how much I need her help. She's shown signs of being more responsible and willingly does more chores lately. Picking up her dishes, pushing in chairs, helping put laundry away, picking up her room, and

She even pretends that she's pregnant and puts her Polly under her shirt and smooths her shirt over the bump. She practices dressing her dolls in her brother's clothes and even puts them BACK when she's done. We get shooshed when she's practicing bedtime for 'brudda as well.

 Bedtime for Polly video: https://www.dropbox.com/s/loq0a2sm3l08mfs/2013-12-18%2018.51.30.mp4

Nora's newest favorite bedtime story is Gossie and what high praise it was that she read her book to Polly to help put her to sleep. I'm thankful that our daughter is reading, that she goes to bed with little trouble now, and that I bought extra Polly dolls so we always have a backup (sssh, Mama's secret).

Did you have your BM today? ~ December 21st, 2013

Never did I think my life would revolve so closely around someone else's bowel movements.

After the general pleasantries and gruntings of the morning our conversation typically turns to the following exchange. Has she pooped yet? Did she have her vitamins? Did she poop yesterday? Better make oatmeal...

Our kid has the proclivity for constipation that baffles the mind. One nugget of cheese can back her up for two days yet she craves cheese like it's her methadone program from her prior half a gallon of milk habit from the past. I find myself shoving anything with fiber in front of her and 80% of it being dismissed or handed off to friends who gladly devour her leftovers. Yet she throws nonstop curveballs at us and willingly will eat fish, chicken, pork, and anything in a pouch as long as it isn't overtly vegetable in contents. Our habit of alcohol and cigarettes of the past is now diapers and pouches for our child, and hers cost more!

As I write this I remember that she hasn't pooped since Saturday and today is Monday. I stop to ask Jamie, "Did she poop yesterday?" He replies without hesitation, "Yeah." I silently sigh in satisfaction that I didn't have to be the one to deal with it and relief that we won't have to deal with the constipation-catastrophes today. Our once colicky baby is now a cantankerous preschooler who throws Emmy-worthy (I would say Oscar-worthy but that's saved for fashion disappointments) meltdowns over the slightest gas pain, fart, or any difficulty expelling her bowels.

Yes, we give her probiotics. No, we don't let her eat processed foods. Yes, she has water all day long. No, she doesn't sit around all day. Yes, we feed her plenty of fruits and vegetables. No, we aren't inserting corks or anything else in to her to stop the flow of excrement. (Side note, what a weird and disturbing line of questioning you invasive stranger. You're a pharmacist not pediatrician, asshole.)

I currently hear her grunting as she plays with her dollhouse over in the corner. Her favorite poop hiding spot. I ask her if she wants the potty and I get an indignant, "NO!" Yay, me.

Kissmas t'wees and other adventures ~ December 14, 2013

Jamie surprised me with the suggestion of going downtown today to see the tree and maybe let her do Santa again. He knows what a Christmas dork I am and the thorough brain washing I have rendered on our child to be one as well. Why else would she look outside every morning and say with despair, "No snowmen." Our couple dustings of snow have been a big tease to not only myself.

After the failed preschool tour that morning, I was all in! (The tour consisted of us getting out of the car, looking at the building, and Jamie announcing, "No way in hell.") It was a quick walk to the Max stop from our car, Nora was already gussied up to see Santa (because I had been dressing her that way since Thanksgiving), and all of us had had enough sleep for once to have the energy for the outing. We were off.

Someone was very excited to be downtown. As soon as I mentioned that we were going to go see the
big Christmas tree she wanted to jump off the Max at every stop in hopes that it was our destination. Then again, a lot of people feel that way on the Max but normally not our daughter who loves riding trains.





Video:  https://www.dropbox.com/s/sptdesjt0d4cytl/2013-12-14%2009.28.22.mp4

Once we arrived at Pioneer Courthouse we realized the following: 1.) Santa on the Square should be called Satan's Samba,
2.) we would not be standing in that line, and 3.) our child was fully indoctrinated with my Christmas insanity.

She grabbed for our hands and began frog marching us up the hill as fast as her little legs could take her. She wanted to see the "kiss'mas t'wee!".

Jamie and I cracked up watching her race around the square hooting and shouting in excitement. We had trouble getting her to stand still for photos and even more trouble explaining to her that we didn't have to hurry. She was convinced that we needed to run and shouted, "Come on!"

She did her best to try and grab the tree while she was up on Jamie's shoulders, hammed it up for tourists and those waiting in line to see Santa on the square, and then bolted up the brick ramp when we mentioned that she could have a milk from Starbucks.

            

 

The barista at Starbucks was as unimpressive as they usually are now and tried to pass off leftover/tainted milk as straight whole milk. Nora got a big gulp of someone's latte before we caught the error. Which would explain her Energizer Bunny impersonation upon arriving at Macy's.

 

 

We took one look at the line for Santa at Macy's and changed our minds. Nora was thrilled just to mess with all the ornaments, watch the robotic reindeer, and write multiple letters of gibberish to Santa.

The fake snow was as big of tease as the dusting of real snow we had last week. She reached in to touch what she thought was snow and got pissed. "Not snow. No snowmen." We reminded her that maybe it might snow again and if not that there was always next year. She pouted her lips, "No snow." I totally understand, kid.

 

The highlight of the day for her was writing letters to Santa.

      

 
 

I'm pretty sure her letters were mostly scribbles but if they were to be deciphered they should have included the following that have been mentioned over the past week as her wishes for "Kiss'mas":

- a piano
- Elmo
- cookies
- cheese
- pasta

At least her demands are not unreasonable, if not, the most healthy. And by healthy I mean Elmo because you better believe I found her one that doesn't talk, sing, or vibrate...frightening.

As exhausted as I was, I knew Jamie really wanted to go to Virginia Café and how much Leah would love to see Nora so after a couple stops to shop for Grandma off we went for lunch, uphill.

Nora was easily convinced to go to lunch as soon as Jamie mentioned tatertots and I was looking forward to sitting down and the use of a clean toilet. (Side note, don't use the restrooms at Macy's unless you like the charm of the facilities at bus stations and airports.)



Nora calmly waiting for tatertots after speed coloring in the books Leah gave her. She was far more entranced by watching Leah move around the bar and interact with people. It gave Jamie and I a chance to chat while all of us took a much needed rest. I think the tainted gulp of milk had finally burnt out of Nora's system because she started to crash a bit right before the food. The photos pretty much cover her energy decline as her head got closer to the tabletop.

 

All in all, one of the best family outings we've had so far. No meltdowns, no fighting, no injuries, and Nora behaved too.

She stayed awake on the train long enough to see the tree again as we departed and then promptly fell asleep on Dada's lap.


 

And to all a good nap...which of course ended once we were home.